This Is What Your Bridesmaids Want You to Know
December 18th, 2013
Planning your wedding should be a time when you can celebrate with your closest friends, not a time when you become bridezilla and alienate them.
However, you don't want to be so careful about stepping on toes that you miss out on the opportunity to involve your friends in the planning and accept their help.
Here are the things that your bridesmaids want you to know.
They want you to tell them what you expect of them.
You can't expect them to be mind readers. You need to tell them whether you want moral support, advice, their input on making decisions, or their physical presence and help with things like assembling wedding favors.
If you don't clearly outline your requests, you will end up frustrated and annoyed, and your friends will feel hurt that you are upset with them over something they didn't understand in the first place.
They want you to let everyone know who has been chosen to be part of the bridal party.
They don't want to have to keep secrets or avoid someone who is expecting to be part of the bridal party, but isn't.
Be clear with everyone so that no accidental faux pas are made. Your true friends will respect your choices.
They want you to have the wedding of your dreams.
Don't assume that they can't afford the dresses you really want or that they don't have time to participate in wedding-related outings.
You should be respectful of your friends' time and finances, but you should also tell your friends what you really would like and allow them to decide whether they can manage that.
Just be prepared to defer to Plan B if those dresses really are too expensive.
Remember that they have lives and responsibilities aside from your wedding.
Take all help that is offered to you, and ask for their help when you need it, but don't get overly demanding.
Your friends may have jobs, spouses, children, and other responsibilities to attend to, which means they might not be available every weekend to address wedding invitations or shop for shoes.
You can always lean on your fiancee, parents, and family members to help out with these details, too.
They want to look great for your wedding.
When you are choosing bridesmaid dresses, keep in mind that the dress you love may not work for every body type.
Try to choose something that is flattering for everyone. If your bridesmaids have very different silhouettes, you could choose one color for everyone to wear, and let each person choose the shape of her dress, or come up with a set of guidelines that gives each person a bit of freedom to find something flattering.
They want you to remember that your wedding is a big expense for them, too.
If you are having multiple engagement parties, bridal showers, or bachelorette parties, let them know that they don't have to give you multiple expensive gifts.
Help them to find affordable flights and lodging. Pick up some of the expenses where you can, like paying for the pre-wedding mani/pedis for all of your bridesmaids.
They want to maintain your friendship throughout the wedding planning phase.
Don't forget about your friendship during this time; ask about their lives, and talk about things other than your wedding.
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